Bless Your Heart

‘Since the East Coast right now look like the inside of a busted freezer at Piggly Wiggly, where you got to go?

Bomb cyclone done come through here actin’ like it pay rent. Snow piled up, ice everywhere, cars frozen so solid they got feelings about it. Folks slidin’ down the road like baby deer on linoleum.

Football season? OVER until the Super Bowl, This weekend - Pro Bowl? Man please. That thing got all the intensity of a church league picnic where everybody scared to spill the sweet tea.

So what’s a person supposed to do??

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We got racin’, that’s what. The last red-blooded, gas-powered joy left to us.

Gulfstream Park, the Holy Bull Stakes, and especially the last pick 5 sequence is playable.

Get er done.

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Alright, I’m gonna say this in my best Trae Crowder voice, so picture a Southern drawl with a side-eye squint and a “bless your heart” locked and loaded.

—

It takes a special kind of talent to watch a replay and come out the other side thinkin you’ve cracked the Da Vinci Code of horse racing. I mean, it takes a keen eye, intestinal fortitude, and a full, healthy set of huevos to stare at grainy footage and go, “Yep, I know what happened there.” Horses will straight up Houdini you. One minute they’re David Copperfield, the next minute they’re a stand-up comic laughin at your bankroll. They will make you see things you’re ready to bet the house on… and then toss with confidence like yesterday’s leftovers.

Most folks watch replays at about a junior-varsity level. “Oh, he was inside, he was blocked.” And look, sometimes that’s true. Some horses hate the inside like it owes them money. You bury ’em down there and they shut down emotionally, spiritually, and athletically. Then the rider tips ’em out and—boom—they take off like nature just hit the NOS button. That part’s real.

But here’s where it gets interesting. European horses? They’re taught to run to daylight. They wait, they wait, and when they see clear air, that’s when the light bulb comes on. American horses? Nah. We raise ours different. We teach ’em: three wide at the three-eighths pole, see the rail, go to work. That’s why when an American trainer says, “I’m gonna put him on the wood and let him roll,” everybody nods like that’s just common sense gospel.

American horsemen and European horsemen are different animals altogether. Over here, we train like Noah’s Ark—two by two, very polite, everybody mindin their space. Over there? They train in packs. Straight up wolf mentality. Collective. Group effort.

Now, a seasoned handicapper can tell you who likes half-mile works, who loves the gate, who’s old-school, who’s fancy. But ask ’em how a trainer matches workmates? How team drills are designed? Crickets. Because most handicappers see a work like it’s a bar fight: who won? That ain’t the point. The point is who benefited.

Take Todd Pletcher. That man works horses in tandems like he’s playin chess. One horse is usually set up to have the advantage. He’s not out there lettin two good ones knock heads unless he’s chasin fitness. Confidence matters. Confidence is currency. A stakes speed horse breakin behind a one-run closer? That’s intentional. Gives him a target, lets him cruise by, boosts his ego. Trainers ain’t lookin for competition—they’re lookin for good vibes.

If they wanted competition, they’d send a fast sprinter out in front and—boom—you got yourself a bullet. And guess what? Trainers don’t actually want bullet works. That’s for the program readers and Social Media experts. Trainers want a horse feelin good about himself, not feelin like he just ran a street race for pink slips.

Handicappers, though? Oh, they love a fast work. They want that horse lookin like a shiny red Ferrari on a Sunday mornin. That’s their idea of “sharp.” Sometimes, the quiet work—the easy one—is the trainer sayin, “Yeah, I got him right.”

Now lately, we’ve seen trainers do these fast gate works right before the race, then wheel the horse back in a few days later. Bang! Fast from the gate. Looks sexy on paper. But here’s the problem: you don’t know how that horse came out of it. If he’s sore, what’re you gonna do? Scratch? Enjoy the paperwork, the vet list, and the state vet givin you the side-eye like you just lied under oath.

Gate works are hard. Especially on hind ends. And they can mess with a horse’s head. That gate ain’t exactly a welcoming place—it’s a big ugly steel monster, and some horses remember that.

And don’t get me started on fast works before a race for first-time starters. I hate it. They get overbet, expectations go through the roof, and more can go wrong than folks wanna admit.

Because despite what some people think—horses ain’t machines. They’re not cars. They’re flesh and blood, nerves and instincts. And if you don’t factor that in, they’ll humble you real quick… usually right after you felt real confident.

Bless your heart.