Well heck, what a damn day. I got more accomplished today than a county commissioner dodging subpoenas in an election year. Four meals, a snack, an hour nap, took the boys out twice — TWICE — identified Churchill Downs morning work videos like some backwoods horse-racing Private Eye, AND handicapped the Sunday card at Churchill while keeping up with all 14 races at Laurel without missing a single one. That ain’t multitasking, that’s rural dexterity. And buddy, we loved Napoleon Solo in the...

Alright now, lemme ask y’all somethin’ by show of hands — how many of y’all play Laurel? Mhmm. Okay. Sparse crowd. Now let me rephrase it in terms horseplayers actually understand: how many of y’all blindly bet Brittany Russell at Laurel like she’s index funds with a saddle towel? There we go. Couple hands shot up REAL quick on that one. Honest people. Degenerates, but honest. Now I don’t play Laurel much myself, but I watched that Friday card and I came away thinkin’ three things: speed was...

"...you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free". Ole Carlo Collodi — or Carlo Lorenzini if we’re usin’ the government name — wrote Pinocchio back in 1881 and somehow accidentally gave us the daily preview show for modern horse racing. Feller probably thought he was writin’ a children’s story, turns out he was writin’ the condition book at Geppetto Downs, but Carlo was tellin the truth and nothin but the truth. Cause what is Pinocchio really? It’s a story about people lyin’ with...