Read Your Emails!

Lord have mercy, y’all… why do I even bother? (In that BDJ sarcastic tone)

I sit down, I write these blogs — like an adult, like somebody who cares — and I lay it all out plain as day. Schedules. Times. Schedule Post for Picks. Links. Everything short of interpretive dance and you really don't want to see me dance.

And… I get the same question:

“Hey BDJ, you doin’ a Zoom this year?”

Yes. Yes, I am. I said it six times at least, wrote it five times, , in bold letters, with pictures, in my own handwriting, emojis, and fireworks. You can’t miss it —bless your hearts, unless you really try, which apparently, y’all do.

Now, one fella — bless his heart — actually explained hisself. Said he deletes the emails — “too many of ‘em” — and he ain’t on social media.

Well, good for you, bud! You’re free! You’ve escaped the matrix! I’m proud of you.But uh… how exactly am I supposed to reach you then? Carrier pigeon? Smoke signal? You want me to skywrite it over your house in chem trails?“ZOOM’S AT 8:30, YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL.”

I swear, we live in a world where I can accidentally order a pizza with my watch,but I can’t get y’all to READ a blog, I reckon.

And don’t even get me started on tryin’ to find stuff online these days.I spent half an hour lookin’ for that FanDuel morning show — couldn’t find it anywhere. Feels like diggin’ for the lost city of Atlantis. Hell, Oak Island’s got a better track record. Eleven seasons, still nothin’!Who’s runnin’ these websites — Gilligan and the Professor?

Anyway. Listen close, because apparently I need to say this slow:

The Zooms. Are. Thursday and Friday night.That’s tonight. At 8:30 PM Eastern, 5:30 Pacific and tomorrow night, Friday night at same bat time and same bat channel. And, loudly, yes, there will be a replay.

And yes, I know it’s easy to forget we’re on the West Coast, what with the event bein’… on the West Coast. But y’all, I am beggin’ — stop emailin’ me at 2 a.m. askin’ why I ain’t respondin’. I do sleep. Not often, but sometimes.

Now look — I get it, life’s busy. But we’re talkin’ about five minutes to read the blog that tells you exactly where to go, exactly when, and sometimes even who to bet. I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself. I ain’t standin’ on my porch with a megaphone yellin’ “ZOOM’S STARTIN’!” like Paul Revere for the racetrack crowd.

And let’s be honest — it’s Breeders’ Cup weekend, there’s opportunity everywhere.I even tracked down this poor guy — bless his delusional heart — whose picks have been Dead Freakin’ Last for years. He’s proud of it, too. Writes ‘em up all neat, little cynical comments like he’s Hemingway of the horse barn. You can use his list for reference — meaning, bet the opposite of whatever he likes.

We call him Travissimo (Saturday plays):

Disclaimer: These picks are NOT Racingwithbruno picks. These are Travissimo picks, not endorsed by Racingwithbruno:

Race 1 - #7 We Can - Because they can't and we won't.

Race 2 - #12 Red Flag - Because I ignored those things when I found my 'ex

Race 3 - #9 Breath Away - Cuz probably will run out of air in the final stretch run and fall back, 16 lengths, and need the heimlick maneveur.

Race 4 - #10 Praying - Thoughts and Prayers needed for all the picks.

Race 5 - #14 Yellow Card - Not quite a Red Flag but also a warning sign....

Race 6 - #14 Whachatalkinabout - Probably has no idea where the finish line is, might even go in reverse, Willis

Race 7 - #11 Dry Powder - Don't choke, but probably will

Race 8 - #2 Goliath - Big name, but nothing to show for it in my pocketbook.

Race 9 - #5 Forever Young - because I'm turning Japanese, turning Japanese.....

Race 10 - #12 Gas Me Up - Probably needs some more gas to keep up with the field

Race 11 - #1 Will Take It - I bet you will, right up the ..........

Race 12 - #7 Be Your Best - Not in this race, though

Good luck to Travissimo, I say he may sweep the card.

So here’s your recap, class: We can’t find sh*t on the internet. We gotta read the blogs for the stuff we actually need.And for the love of Secretariat, stop takin’ tips from people who say “racing’s about entertainment, not gambling.”

If I wanted “entertainment,” I’d watch The Bachelor with a bottle of whiskey and a bad attitude. I’m here to win some damn money.

So yeah, the Zoom’s happenin’. The links will be emailed.Some of you even signed up for the newsletters — as subscribers — and still don’t read ‘em. That part just kills me. Like when Doc Bonura told me he deletes my emails… but then asked if I could email him my Pick Six plays for tomorrow. That kinda logic makes me wanna pour a double and sit quietly until my blood pressure goes back down or i pass out.

The blogs are there. On the site. You can’t delete ‘em.So help me help you — because I swear, next year I might just start mailin’ handwritten invitations on papyrus scrolls tied to homin’ pigeons.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got a product to finish, a Zoom to host,and hopefully a few tickets to cash while the rest of y’all are still wanderin’ the internet like Indiana Jones lookin’ for the morning show link.

And, right on cue, I get an email frm Charles wondering where the link for the zoom is....., i had dinner with Charles last night, Oy Vey!

God bless, good luck, and for the love of all that’s holy —read your damn emails.