Big Pharma
- Bruno@Racingwithbruno
- 6 hours ago
- 2 min read
Alright now… lemme ask y’all somethin’—have y’all noticed these big-time pharmaceutical commercials?
You know the ones. Happy people frolickin’ in a field, throwin’ frisbees, grillin’ out, life just perfect… and then that voice comes on at the end talkin’ faster than an auctioneer on espresso:
“Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, spontaneous combustion, and fightin’ your neighbor over a lawn chair…”
And I got to thinkin’…
Why in the HELL don’t horse bets come with the same kinda warnings?
I mean if them miracle drugs gotta tell you the risks, then buddy, bettin’ the 3-horse in the 4th at some random track on a Tuesday oughta come with a whole scroll of fine print.
Like this:
“Betting the 3 horse in the 4th race at Creek Downs may cause the bettor to suffer severe hand-foot-in-mouth syndrome, resulting in the complete loss of identity when explainin’ to their spouse where the money went.”
You put together a $540 Pick 5 ticket?
Oh we got side effects for that:
“May result in bizarre urine colors—orange, blue, or black—mostly from your soul leavin’ your body one leg at a time.”
Betting “value horses”?
Yeah, that one needs a black box warning:
“May cause sleep betting—user may eat, drive, make phone calls, and fire off wagers while unconscious, with no memory except an empty account and deep regret.”
And don’t even get me started on a losing streak…
“Impulsive wagering may lead to compulsive behaviors including gambling, shopping, overconfidence, and tellin’ yourself ‘this next one’s the one’ seventeen times in a row.”
Side effects also include:
Sudden hair growth—ears, nose, places you didn’t even know accepted follicles. Eye color changes—especially when you start believin’ you’re a genius after hittin’ one chalk exacta. Loss of smell—which honestly might be your brain tryin’ to protect you from the stench of your own decisions.
And my personal favorite:
“Hallucinations may occur when following TV analyst picks—user may experience vivid visions of ‘locks’ and ‘can’t lose’ scenarios that absolutely, positively can and will lose.”
And at the very end, real quiet, real fast:
“Disclaimer: These side effects may be permanent and should be discussed with a therapist… or at minimum, somebody who loves you enough to take your phone away.”
I’m just sayin’… if Big Pharma gotta warn folks before takin’ a pill, then betting on certain horses oughta have some fine print before you bet a dime.
‘Cause them side effects? and lord have mercy, sweet baby Jesus, don't even get me started on them side effects for the political ads .........
They ain’t rare…They’re daily.