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Three Fingered Mickey

Sharp objects in handicappers hands should be outlawed at the least frowned upon.


Handicappers can inflict virtual harm on themselves in more ways than you can imagine.


Take our own Amy Kearns, our own 'HR', I was just checking on her this morning, as she inflicted some kind of damage on two of her fingers slicing up onions in her palatial kitchen last night.


"Oops I seem to have sliced the dickens out of my finger" overheard from Amy Kearns kitchen last nite as we had video proof.





"I sliced the tip of the finger almost completely off", she said as her signficant other made her do some meditation yoga holding her injured hand above her head as she stood on one leg.

[Reportedly Amy had a scowl on her face doing so]


This picture may be shocking to some. Look away if you have to.





This isn't the first time, a few years back she sliced her hands on a vegetable cutter and bled profusely for hours.


Pretty much like handicappers making self inflicted wounds in their handicapping. There is some handicappers that commit these atrocities on their bankroll and psyche at the windows every day and yet never bleed out.


Handicapping is all about decision making, just like picking up sharp objects, as in Amy's case.


"I got so queasy after", she says, her ''Hatomoto'' [our nickname for the saint she lives with] had to finish cutting the onion. it is unclear if dinner actually took place but that's a short story for another blog.


Understanding your own shortcomings is KEY to success, you know what you are good at and what you are not, what track you feel confident or not. whether to use sharp objects or not. It is a big step to being a winning horseplayer or simply giving yourself a chance to survive.


"Three fingered Amy'' was at work this morning manning her camera and stopwatch at Keeneland, "I can only use three fingers right now'', I think she understands how 'The Mouse' at Disneyland feels.


I feel that there are many of you that are three fingered Mickeys out there, you find ways to slice and dice your own bankroll by bad angles, bad decisions and simply horrible judge of analysises and bad timing.


I never forget, a handicapper, when we had a horse labeled in red, big bold letters, at Gulf a few years back, went off 36-1, as our top choice, and pay $71. The handicapper told me later, "yeah I saw your sheet, but I simply thought you were just making a pick'', I remember incredously responding, ''It was in [fucking] bold, caps and red!"


A neon sign wouldn't have helped that handicapper.





If we really like something and we use the words LOVE, WOWZA, WOW, OUSTANDING, it usually means WE LIKE IT, and you should too, it's not a democratic vote, consensus, or even, remotely, up for discussion.


I could give 'Mickey's' rats ass if you don't believe it or are skeptical, that's how you end up slicing digits off.


If I asked for a show of hands, I am surely going to find a large percentage of you have a number of scarred digits, and if we conducted an investigation into why we would find the most disturbing reasons:


"I was watching my favorite series 'Loudermilk' on Netflix and missed the 4th race with Terrapin Station at Churchill Downs paying 9/2 off stellar wowza work," a mind boggling excuse, only followed up by "I thought he would get hammered!"


What did this handicapper get stabbed in the eyes too ? He couldn't watch and figure out the horse was the price on the board as they were betting horses that had no advantages?


This happens daily, and it causes handicappers to become calleous, scarred, as a well known figure maker said once "I have been embarassed one too many times, it doesn't matter anymore''. Take one wild guess on whom it was!


In their case, they have sliced and diced their digits so many times they have lost feelings in those extremities.


When you miss opportunities it has to hurt. It has to pain you down deep.





In the case of "Three Fingered Amy", she has no finger prints in her left pointer finger, she can still flip someone off, but if she is to turn to a life of crime I suggest she only use her pointer finger.


For the rest of you three fingered Mickeys








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